While having three inches of snow destroy our new outdoor canopy or having a hurricane knock down approximately half of the trees in our neighborhood really would have been enough excitement in 2008, we had the (mis)fortune of managing to have a reasonably sized grease fire in the kitchen this past weekend.
We were having a holiday get-together, with Kamber O' Blythe, Ravebaby, J.R.Nip, Psibabe and myself (Geck0) all chillin' at the GameVorplex. I made a stack of funnel cakes for the crew, but Kamber and Ravebaby had to run out on an errand, leaving us to eat their funnel cakes. When they returned, Psibabe started the oil for me to make some more and informed me, but I had told her I didn't want to make any more, not to bother. She didn't hear that and began playing Tomb Raider: Underworld for review. When I came out of the office, J.R.Nip was trying to help her work through a puzzle, and I sat down to help them figure out where to go next.
A couple of minute later, Psibabe said it smelled like something was burning and realized it must be the oil. When we rounded the corner into the kitchen, it was not just burning, but flaming at least a foot in the air. It wasn't just oil, it was a LOT of oil. You deep fry funnel cakes. It would take a while for the oil to burn off.
A lot of things run through your head when you find yourself, suddenly, staring at a lot of hot flame. In your house. The first thought, of course, is oh-my-God-that's-not-supposed-to-be-there. Then, you start trying to think of ways that you might put it out. My immediate thought was that I could post a question on Yahoo Answers and in three days, I should have a good answer. Of course, my immediate realization was that I would probably need to find an answer a lot QUICKER than three days. Minutes would be nice. I also thought about running to the office and looking it up on Google, but I decided that, as quick as I am at searching for things, I needed to figure something out then and there. Someone suggested a fire extinguisher... which would be a good idea... if we knew where it was and if it was the right type for grease fires. Of course, we didn't, and I'm pretty sure it isn't.
Something then occurred to me that I had learned from watching the special features of some movie: there are two white powdery substances commonly found in a kitchen. Flour and Baking Soda. One of them will put out the fire, the other will burn quickly when aerated and, so, will cause a fiery flash, making things worse. At the time, I couldn't think of which was which. FOR THOSE WHO NEED TO KNOW: BAKING SODA CAN BE USED TO PUT OUT BURNING OIL.
The very next thing that occurred to me wasn't how to put out the fire. It was exactly how much the three of us, all intelligent, level-minded adults, reminded me of The Sims when they have their cooking mishaps. We were, for all intents and purposes, waving our hands around and jogging in place, much like The Sims do. I've always thought that The Sims reduced life to something that can be looked at with a passing glance, but I had hoped that the reaction to a kitchen fire was more exaggerated than it evidently is.
Other suggestions were thrown in by the others and I had thought of a couple, myself. Throw water on it... no, that would be BAD. Throw ice on it? No, Ice is water, too. Put a wet towel over it? Well, that's still water, and if the heat steams off the water quick enough, we have a flaming towel. Too risky. I thought about putting it in the oven and letting it consume all of the air, I mean, hey - the oven's designed for high temps. The only reason I didn't do that one is because I wasn't sure how air-tight the oven was or just how hot that oil was burning... and I was rapidly getting to the point I was going to try it, anyway. I was later told that doing so could have destroyed the wiring in the oven, but it would have been a way to stop the fire from spreading and contain the smoke, so even looking back, that would have been my preferred solution, after fire extinguisher and baking soda. The other thought I had, and the one I was ready to go with, was to get the biggest, deepest pot we had (preferably over a foot in depth), dump the flaming mess into it and carefully, yet quickly, escort it out of the house and into the back yard.
However, before I could put this plan into action (before I could remember where the big pot was kept), J.R.Nip decides to be the hero. He grabs the skillet of flames and turns to run out the back door, which he had opened earlier to vent the smoke. This could have been a great idea. I had wanted to do much the same thing, except with higher walls on the pot, so liquid fire wouldn't fall onto anything. The only problems were that there was a large dining room table in his path. And carpet. And the fact that he's typically pretty clumsy. That would be why Psibabe shrieked when she saw that he was going to make the attempt. He instantly aborted his heroic attempt and went to return the flames to the stove top, but the sudden change in direction caused some of the flaming oil to spill to the ground... and his awaiting bare feet. The fallen fire quenched instantly, but it goes without saying that it was still very, very, very hot oil.
With the pan back on the stove and half of the grease out of the way, the flames had died down a bit, so we went with my larger-pot-and-rush-out-the-back-door plan. The flames died out and, currently, the pot is still out there.
We rushed J.R. to the Urgent Care facility and a mere hour and fifteen minutes after burning his foot, he got medical treatment. He says it only hurts when he puts pressure on it, now, but the blisters are... the stuff of horror-films. With luck, it should heal with very little scarring, if any, but it's too early to tell for now.
It was an eventful Saturday... the kind that makes me remember an old Chinese curse, "May your live in interesting times."
The Qweremin
2 weeks ago
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